Clinging On For Life (Matt Smith)
by BollyCakesHogwarts
Summary: 'Actions speak louder than words', that expression didnt mean a lot to Charlie, until she became Alex Whitehall, one in a long line of many. A long line of heroines. When everyone else knows what she has to do, yet she hasnt the foggiest, things become a little bit more exciting on the Torchwood set. What has The Moff got instore for Eleven and his new girl?
1. Chapter 1

We stood at the front of the set, me perched ready to 'fall' and then run. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the camera zoomed in on my face.

"Ready, Charlie? ACTION!" I jumped slideways onto the crashmat disguised as paving slabs and ran towards the fake wooden door. Men dressed in Tudor clothing followed, there sword raised and yelling. I breathed heavily as I ran, nothing was going to stop me. I wanted to make a good impression on the first day of filming. I had no idea what the plot of my episode was, I just knew I had to run from the 'guards' that were chasing me. I stopped when I reached the otherside of the courtyard we were filming in. The team surrounded me with umbrellas and coffee. Nick Hurran, the director, approached me, holding the script close to his chest to protect it from the rain.

"Okay, Charlie Howards, right? Okay Charlie, when you run, make sure to look over your shoulder every now and then. Look worried! Your being chased by Queen Elizabeth I's guards, remember?" I nodded along, taking in the instructions he gave me. " We're going to bring the rest of the main cast now. Im aware that you havent met any of them right? Apart from Louise who plays your mother. Well your about to meet the main guy. Charlie Howards, meet Matt Smith." I turned and faced the man Nick was pointing to. He walked up towards me, wearing shades despite the rain.

"Hello, Mr Smith." I shook his hand. He smiled at me. "Nice shades." Taking them off he winked.

"Yeah, they are. I like them so much ive got two pairs." He pushed them on my nose and laughed. "Might have a word with the costume department about your characters accessories! They suit you. Okay what scene are we doing then?" Nick flicked through the script, getting towards the end.

"Right, were doing the 'Return To The TARDIS'." I vaguely remembered the plot, and as I only had my lines and didnt attend the read through, didnt know what was going to happen. I had been kept in the dark about the whole thing really as the writers didnt want anything getting out. Nick continued and thankfully explained. "So after a challanging day being picked up at the muesum by some madman, battling the aliens of the Tower Of London, The Doctor', Matt,s fall out with Elizabeth and a near death experiance, Alex Whitehall, Chalie, is taken back home to her mother in future England. She is positive she is being pranked up until The Doctor points out a damage to the Tower that could have only been caused by the aliens. And we'll take it from there." Matt and I walked over to the set, a reconstruction of the bottom of the Tower. We stood opposite, ready to act.

"Take 1 scene 17 ACTION!" Matt suddenly became the Doctor in front of my eyes, his mannerisms changed and he looked like a man who had been fighting all day. Being a big fan of Doctor Who, I was finding it hard not to grab hold of him and not let go, but keeping my cool was my strong point.

"So, Alex, see you around." He turned and walked away towards the wooden TARDIS standing 5 feet away. I waited until he was just about to open the before shouting and running forward.

"Doctor wait!" He turned, smiling.

"Yes?"

"Thankyou. For saving my life back there. Even if it was just a prank." He laughed.

"Humans, always looking the unextrodinary explaination." I laughed too. From behind us, Nick shouted some directions.

"Charlie, lean in and kiss him. Matt, look surprised but continue." I didnt remember reading that on the script. Trying to concel my shock and nerves, I stood on my toes so I was looking Matt in the eye and leaned in, but

"CUT!" I stop centimetres away. We were left, awkwardly close on the first day of filming. Nick walked over again, along with the makeup department who set to work covering up my blush. Matt seemed fine with it though.

"Hey, your really good by the way! Im glad they picked you, sorry about not making the screen test, I had a family issue, oh and about this. They always throw something like this at you on the first day of filming. Their idea of a showbiz ice-breaker." I laughed. Nick had reached us and was now speaking.

"Charlie, you looked too awkward doing that. So what we are going to do is make you kiss him on the cheek instead? How about that? Matt..." He walked Matt over and was giving him what looked like instructions on lighting with the TARDIS. The makeup department had finished with me so I stood waiting for someone to give me instructions. After a couple more minutes, Matt and Nick walked back over. We confirmed we were ready and Nick went back to the directors seat.

"Take 2, scene 17. ACTION!"

"Thankyou. For saving my life back there. Even if it was just a prank." Again he laughed.

"Humans, always looking the unextrodinary explaination." I laughed then stood on my toes, aiming for his cheek. Thoughts ran through my head, ranging from 'Am I supposed to look this eager?' to 'OMG. Im kissing Matt Smiths cheek!'. I closed my eyes, waiting for my lips to make contact.

"Ale-" And then I was kissing Matt. Properly. Not the cheeks but lips. I felt him fake a little wriggle, knowing that he couldve pulled away. Nick had obviously told him to move his head at last minute. Matts hand went to my back and I put my arms around his neck is a loose embrace.

"And, pull away." I did as directed, not taking my eyes off Matts face. He looked at me seriously.

"Just so you know, it wasnt a prank. Im serious when I say your special. You were chosen to come with me long ago. It was never a question of if, just when. Come on. The TARDIS is waiting. Anywhere, anytime. Are you ready?" He held his hand out and i took it.

"You bet." And we walk inside the fake TARDIS. I waited a couple of seconds before attempting to move out of the cramped box but Matt held onto my arm.

"We have to wait for them to do the wind. Youll hear it." We were face to face again, surrounded by the sound of giant fans. "It seems like acting isnt your only talent miss Howards. Another seems to be a good old snog. We may have to arrange another." He winked slightly then walked out. The wind had stopped. And so had I. Frozen by the possibility of more personal time with Mr Matt Smith.


	2. Chapter 2

On location filming was always the best, and hardest, thing to do in my new job. Matt and I were waiting around in Cardiff Bay, approaching the end of an uneventful day of filming. Not that the 6 months I had spent on the set of Doctor Who had been boring. Quite the opposite. Matt and I had become really close since that explosive first day of filming. As the camera wasn't rolling, we were just hanging out away from the lens. The writers and producers were gathered around an outside table at the pizza parlour near the water.

I felt a warm hand touch my hip as I looked over the railing into the sea. A soft breath made my hair tickle at my chin

"They're up to something." Matt muttered. He leaned in closer to my ear. "So Charlie, are you enjoying shooting in the beautiful Cardiff?" I nodded and turned my head so we were almost nose to nose. Neither of us moved, staring the other out. Admittedly, there was chemistry between Mr Smith and I. But fortunately, or unfortunately, there had been no more opportunities in the scripts to explore where that chemistry might lead. He turned and looked out onto the water. The setting sun shone brightly into his green eyes making his pupils smaller and his iris's glow. Leaning backwards on the railing, I looked towards the millennium centre and the other iconic monuments near it. Something about Cardiff was peaceful. The locals had taken their pictures with Matt and me this morning. It was strange for me as the announcement that I was the companion had taken place this week. As a frequent user of Twitter, something that Matt scoffed at, I saw immediately what people thought. Several pictures of me hugging Matt had made their way to Tumblr and Facebook, so it was amusing to see what the dedicated Whovians had come up with about the Doctor and my relationship. None of them had come close. After the shop owners and the tourists had met us, we were left to our own devices.

The episode we were shooting was midway through the series and written by the amazing Russell T Davies. He had penned two of the twelve stories in the seasons and both had been brilliant. When I had read the scripts I felt like I was a teenager again. There were factors to the plots that echoed the era of Rose and Tennant. He had even brought Martha, now settled down with Mickey in a job that defends the Earth, back into the episode. Freema was so nice and Matt and I had a great time messing about with her on set.

There was a scene towards the end that really got to me. It was called Goodbye Sarah Jane. The Doctor promises Alex that he'll introduce her to Sarah Jane after she found out how cool she was from Martha and Mickey. They visit Bannerman Road and knock on her door, to no answer. They try again, still no reply. Once more they go to knock when a cars pulls into the drive and an adult Luke steps out. The Doctor and Luke looks at each other for a minute before the Doctor hugs a tearful Luke saying "I'm so sorry." Alex and the Doctor find out that Sarah Jane died two months ago. Alex asks if they can't go back in time and meet her but the Doctor explains that it would mean crossing his own time line. So they leave Sarah Jane's drive on Bannerman Road for the last time. I must've burst into tears ten times just filming that one scene.

So here we were in Cardiff filming the first scene. Matt and I leaned against the railing together, hands dangling dangerously close.

"So, how come we're staying here for another month? We've finished filming." I asked Matt. He shrugged his shoulders and answers.

"Not sure, but I bet it's something to do with that little meeting over there." We looked over together. Steven Moffat and Russell Davies were getting up out of their chairs. They walked towards us, laughing.

"That's not sinister at all." Matt said jokily.

"Hello!" Steven said happily. They finally reached us, grinning menacingly, clutching two plastic wallets to their chest.

"Now, as you know, today was the last day of filming for 6 weeks, when we go to New Zealand for the Christmas special. You're probably planning to go on holiday in some exotic country where you can stay the whole time in the sun lounging about. Well, no, you're not. In these wallets, we had two scripts. For you two. Russell here had been wanting me to give you these weeks ago, but I wanted it to be a surprise. Plus, we didn't want to scare poor Charlie off too much!" Matt and I exchanged looks, both wondering what we were being pushed into this time. I took the script that Steven was passing to me and looked at the cover. I let out a little scream. Next to me, Matt was chuckling to himself.

"Torchwood is back, baby!" Russell said excitedly.

The Torchwood set was immense. For me, who had nearly passed out when Matt had showed me the Ecclestone and Tennant TARDIS set, I was taking it quite well. As Matt and I had not attended the read through, thanks to Steven, the first time we were meeting the cast was on set. Matt too was looking a little bit lost on the impressive set. He kept on twisting the elastic of his braces around his fingers or flicking at his bowtie. He walked over and joined me, touching my back slightly, a habit that was becoming quite regular.

"I don't trust Russ and Steven. Why are they only letting us read a few scenes at a time? Mark keeps on giving me funny looks." I said. He looked over at Mark Gatiss, who was talking to the producers.

"I know. I feel like they're up to something. Do you know what time the rest of the cast is getting here?" Matt asked, rubbing his hands together in a mix of excitement and nerves. He wasn't happy with how well he knew his lines, even though we practised them all night in the trailers. I was rocking on the spot.

"Hello darling." Came a flirtatious voice from behind us. Matt looked and smiled. I turned and saw John Barrowman coming towards us, large military coat swinging as he moved. He embraced Matt and patted his shoulder. Blue eyes then fixing on me, he flashed a charming smile and a quick wink.

"Who is this gorgeous creature? Don't tell me, you're Charlie Howards. God, I was so excited to meet you! The Doctor's new girl." He walked over and hugged me too. I stood there shocked. I was a massive fan of Torchwood, so being in the program was cool enough, let alone getting called gorgeous by John Barrowman. Overwhelmed, I hugged him back.

"Hi! This is awesome! But could you please tell me the plot of the episode as no one else wants to tell us?" I asked. He pulled a face as if he would really would like to, but no.

"I'm on strict orders from up high. One lot at a time for you two. All I can say is it's the Christmas special. Don't look at me like that! Blame Steve and Russ!"

"Okay, can everyone gather around?" Someone near the middle of the hub shouted, motioning to where we had to go. More of the cast came from backstage. I recognised a few familiar faces such as Eve Myles and Kai Owen. As more people piled in I even saw Freema Agyema and Alex Kingston, who I had met during filming.

"Matt, what are Freema and Alex doing here?" He looked over and saw them too.

"I don't know but I have the feeling we're about to find out." He said as the director stood on a podium and addressed everyone.

"Okay this is the opening sequence. On request of Steven and Russell, we are shooting the scenes in a different order than what was planned; if you look on the door you'll see the plan. So, in this scene, we need Alex near the stairs as if she had just walked down them. Freema go stand near John who is going to be near the computers, studying a screen. Eve, if you and Kai, If you go stand in the corridor waiting to enter. Okay, Charlie and Matt go and stand in the TARDIS. Could everyone else go and standoff set. We need absolute silence." When he had finished speaking and everyone had their positions someone yelled 'ACTION' and the camera began rolling. From our position in the TARDIS we could here Freema recite her lines.

"Jack, there has been a massive spike in activity. It's the most recent in a series of fluctuations; I think we might need to check it out."

"I agree. We should get someone to check it out. It's right over the rift." That was Alex. We heard John breathe out deeply.

"Fine then River, you go. Take Jamie, when he gets here, with you. You might need a scientist."

"You mean I might need protection." Alex said accusingly.

"No, I mean we need someone with scientific training to see what we're dealing with." John said, using voice you would use when talking to an annoying child.

"Whatever. I'll go and collect the tracker then. Oh, and Jack? If you ever imply that I need our kid of a colleague to protect me then I'll show you who needs protection." From the sound of heels on tile, Alex had left. I heard a door open and close and the sound of two people entering the hub.

"The teachers have rang up and said she is really sick, so could you please, please go pick Anwen up?" Eve sounded as if she wasn't going to give Kai a choice in the matter.

"Fine!" Said a strong welsh accent. Then Jack's voice.

"Oh Rhys darling, drop River off whilst you're there?" He sounded like he was mocking the other man. There was a reply of a sigh and the rattle of keys.

"Jack, I don-" Eve began, but was interrupted by the whirring sound of engines." Matt leaned into my ear and whispered.

"Ready?" I nodded before bursting out of the door and looking around the hub. I shouted back into the TARDIS.

"Doctor! I'm not sure we're in the Sherwood Forest! It looks more like an old tube station." Matt burst through the doors after me.

"Train station! I hate trains. Hang on I recognise here!" He said spotting John.

"With that awful sense of dress it's got to be. Hey Doctor!" He walked forward and hugged Matt. They both laughed. Eve walked towards me, confusion in her eyes.

"Jack, who are these people?"

"Gwen, this is the Doctor." John said, announcing him like a circus ring master. I saw Freema, who looked at me. We ran and hugged each other.

"Martha! Gosh! It's been ages! Where are we?"

"I'm good thanks. I got a job here! Finally, and Mickey got one too. But he's working with Torchwood Two at the moment." I looked at her confused.

"What's Torchwood?"

"It's an organisation set up by Queen Victoria. Originally, we were on orders to protect England from the troubled of the Doctor, but eventually I butted in and told them to point their guns at the real enemies!" John said. I nodded along.

"Wait, what did you do to Queen Victoria?" I turned to Matt.

"Why do they always think it's me?" He said, annoyed.

"Because it is always you." Came a voice from the corner of the set. "Hello sweetie." Alex came walking down a few steps.

"Hello River." The Doctor said. Alex looked at Matt not smiling.

"CUT!" Nick Hurran went and gave directions to Alex and Matt. I turned and smiled at Freema. She grinned back. Maybe she could tell me what Steven and Russell had planned.

"Hey Freema, could yo-"

"No, sorry Charlie, Steven had threatened what will happen if we say." She said apologetically. I looked at the ground, but looked up when I heard her sigh.

"Okay, I'll tell you a clue. Scene 7. It's being recorded tomorrow. That's when it takes place." I gulped. What takes place? Matt and I had only received 1, 9 and 13. Would we get 7 when we leave tonight?

"Scene 1, take 2. ACTION!"

"Hello River." Matt said, serious again. Alex drew her hand back and slapped Matt hard, I winced. As she took her hand from his cheek, pulling back for another go, he caught her wrist. They looked at each other, equally annoyed.

"What was that for?" Matt growled, a red mark glowing along his cheek bone.

"You know exactly what that was for, Doctor." They stared each other before she snatched her hand back and walked off. Matt turned to John who was looking at him, worried.

"Ah, there's history there then." He said, attempting to understand.

"A lot, most of which I don't know. We're married, divorced, newlyweds. I'm not actually sure." Matt said weakly.

"Oh. A messy one by the looks of it. Anyhow, what are you doing here Doctor?"

"I got a message from the hub on the physic paper. What's up?"

"We didn't send it." John said eyes wide with worry and shock.

"CUT! That's great guys!" Matt went straight from looking like the Doctor, the oncoming storm, two seconds away from defending the Earth from anybody who threatened, to Matt. Amazing, old Matt. John turned and patted him on the back. He looked over at me and smiled. I grinned back, certain I was blushing.

**_Oh Moffat is evil, what is up that elaborate sleeve of his?_**


	3. Chapter 3

"This whole 'one scene at a time' thing is beginning to wear thin very quickly" I muttered as Matt and I went through make up on the 3rd day of the shoot. The story line, we were told, was a 3 part-er, airing Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Suzanne, the make up artist, had the hard task of making us look like we had been attacked by an invisible alien that is set to feed of the human races natural instincts and change them into the kind of animals. Well, that was what I had worked out so far.

"Am I the only one of us that thinks this 'natural instincts' thing could end strangely?" Matt said, sounding like he was voicing something that had been bothering him for a while.

"I guess. I mean, what are the human races instincts? To kill, to eat, to breathe..."

"To love." Said Suzanne, plumping my hair out, back combing as she went. I hadn't thought of that. What would the script contain today? The last thing we filmed was the monster separating off The Doctor and Alex away from Jack and Gwen and them from River and Rhys. It wasn't looking good. Jamie and Martha weren't around, they were looking for readings that might suggest the invasion was intended. Love was looking most likely. Suzanne winked and walk off.

That worried me.

Matt and I set off. We were filming in the Millennium Centre which was substituting a hospital. It didn't take much waiting around before we got bored and ran off looking for entertainment, which came in the form of a selection of percussion instrument that we found backstage. We began messing about, playing random tunes, including Batman theme and all sorts of other stuff. I started waving the tambourine around and dancing like a hippy when I caught Matt looking at me funny. It was only funny because my stomache seemed to hosting a rave party and there was a refreshing feeling spread through my body, I began to relax at the same time as becoming overly excited, I was a mess. But it was over in a second, whipped away by my hair blocking out his grinning face. I stopped dancing and blinking away my dizziness. Matt grabbed the tambourine and placed it on his head, bopping up and down to make it chingle. I giggled.

The intercom buzzed into life,

"Matt and Charlie. Soundstage. Now." Came Stevens voice. He sounded like he was very willing to send our characters to a sudden and gruesome death so, hand in hand, Matt and I ran back.

The script was passed to us. And it was bad. Or maybe it was good? The little part of me that had erupted a second ago at Matts smiling face would say it was good. But my modesty, well that disagreed. I looked up and saw Moffat smiling evilly at me.

"Well... At least this is on Torchwood so all the little Whovians don't get to find out what the Doctor does in his spare time..." Matt chuckled. How was he being so cool about this? I tried laughing. It came out nervous and forced.

"Ha, yeah. Will they actually be filming today?" I asked, trying not to sound panicked.

"Yeah. Come On Charlie." He said and he grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the trailers to learn lines.

Two hours later, they were being put to the test. The current set was a large maze that the team had been chasing the monster through After the alien had attacked us, we were all seperated from each other by enormous pieces of metal machinary. We lay on our backs, coughing from the smoke of the explosion. I knew the lines, it was easy to pick them up whilst watching Matts lips form them. And the fact that I was good at learning them helped too.

"Doctor?" I spluttered, pretending to be choking on the gas. Matt stood up and fell down, being dazed from the explosion. He sniffed the gas and then started pulling out a hankichief from his front pocket and clasped it to his mouth.

"Alex, don't breathe. This is what Hydrachanges do. They poison the air."

"Poison!" I gasped, though the coughs.

"Well, it's a poison of sorts. It changes the mind, like a poison. It makes you do things you wouldn't normally." He realed off. I began blinking to show confusion and slowly walked towards Matt, aware of what I was about to do. The director had been clear enough.

"Doctor, you're hot, you know that?" I said, I waited for Matt to look confused, drop the hanky and take a deep breath like he was going to speak before diving on him. My hands roamed his body and deep down I knew this wasn't completely acting. I wanted this. I wanted him.

Like our very first day on set, he struggled a little, but after a few deep breathes of the 'poison', his hands found my waist and tugged me closer. The director shouted instructions and I followed. My hand went under his jacket and began untucking his shirt.I pushed the jacket off his shoulders and went for the braces. I had always wanted to ping them. But I got stopped before I could.

"CUT! Right, Now in the script it goes to River and Rhys. So, If you want to remove your shirt, Matt and Charlie, if you could undo a few buttons on your shirt. That should look like we've been gone a bit." I giggled. Well, Torchwood basically meant Doctor Who only dirtier. Maybe I could play this drugged up Alex a little over the top? I undid 5 buttons, ruffled up my hair as if Matt's hands had been running through it and stood ready again. Matt's shirt was gone and i resisted tempation to inspect the view, desciding to let my hands to the work. We were instructed to improvise to a certain degreee. Matt and I looked at each other and smirked. There was a trace of real longing in his eyes that was getting hard to ignore.

"ACTION" Matts lips collided with mine, which reacted with such furouscity that even I was taken aback. His hands ran through my hair and over my back and everywhere. He then pulled back;

"Alex, think, it's infecting me too, but it's in your mind more. Come on, clear your head!"

"Shut up, I've wanted to do this for ages!" I grabbed him and kissed him, letting my hands wonder to his fly just like what the script said. His trousers fell to the ground. I removed my lips to undo my trousers. But Matt grabbed my shoulders before I could.

"Come on Alex, the mist is getting thicker, we can't do this. But I'm finding it hard to stop, you have to help!" He said, He was pleading with his eyes, and for a moment I found it hard to carry on as it looked real. But then I thought of the script and what I wanted and my jeans fell to the floor...


	4. Chapter 4

My trousers were around my ankles and Matts hand on my thigh. I was beginning to really get into the situation when...

"CUT!" The director, Daniel Marsden, shouted. For once, I was actually tempted to ignore him, but I did as I was told. He walked over to us, clutching his version of the script. "Charlie, you were great. You really understood the characters emotion and sexual attraction to the Doctor. Matt, I know it would be easy to buckle under Charlies attempts, but you have still got to act like you don't want it. Think about it, you're different species. Nobody wants mutant children." The director spoke in a matter of fact way, it was hard to tell that he was joking, but Matt cracked a smile.

I was surprised. Matt had been too eager, did that mean? No, I mustn't tell myself that, it would only end in trouble. But I couldn't help but let my mind wonder, the days we had been spending together had been more and more intimate. Never say never.

"Okay, Steven said that you could have your scripts early for tomorrows scene, as its really important," I took the script from Dans hands whilst he spoke "The thing is, I want some genuine hate and love shown towards the Doctor. So can you guys go off now and work on that? This is for an adult audience and they're usually more picky than kids. It's got to be beyond perfect." I nodded and we were dismissed to the trailers. When we arrived, Matt decided to do his video diary.

"Hello, erm you're not confidential any more are you? Urm what should I call you?" He said to the camera before turning and asking my assistance.

"Just call it Confidential, rebel a little." I said, winking at him but continuing to make a cup of tea.

"Okay. Hello Confidential. Day 5 on the beautiful Torchwood set. Lots of interesting things to mess with and break. But don't tell Barrowman about that. The storyline is a little confusing at the moment. It seems as though Alex and The Doctor are getting a little bit naughty. What else is been going on on, Charls? Oh yeah, Moffat and Gattis have been weaving a plan together, not heard much of it yet, but its more evil than Sherlock's jump." He ranted off. I giggled at him and set his tea next to him before joining him in the lens view. "We've just got our scripts for the next part and are about to read it. Why haven't we already learnt it? Isn't that our only job? We are lazy? Is that what I hear you say, well Steven is being very scheming and not allowing us to see the whole storyline. It's as if he is hiding something from us."

I shook my fist whilst saying "Moffat!" Matt joined in.

"Okay, so the DW facebook page has been asking you guys to send in your questions for me and Charls. So we've got an Amanda from Hull," Matt said, looking at the first question on the sheet of paper.

"Hi, Amanda!" I said.

"Amanda wants to know whether we listen to a lot of music on set." Matt looked up from the letter and smiled at the camera before turning to look at me, obviously wanting me to answer first.

"Yeah, well I do. I spend a lot of time in my trailer blasting out The Black Keys at anti-social volumes, to tell the truth. Hang on, that sounds as if I don't do any work. I do work. It's just this job involves a lot of hanging around. Not that I'm moaning. It's great." I smiled at the camera, trying to hide the fact that I was stumbling over sentences as Matt had accidentally brushed hand on my thigh. It was weird to think that the lightest of touches from him were sending me crazy when I had been eating his face off a not that long ago.

"Well, as you probably know, I am a music extraordinaire and, like many other connoisseurs of a good old tune, will know instantly if it's worth a listen." Matt said, in a imitation of a old fashioned BBC voice. I cracked up. But that was mainly because he had a massive double chin from the face he was pulling. I leaned forward and grabbed the questions sheet. I looked through and selected one that I wanted to know Matt's answer to.

"Have any of the other cast members ever caught your eye? For example, Matt did you ever want to ask Alex Kingston on a date after getting up and personal with River Song?" I looked at Matt. He looked back at me. There was something weridly meaningful in the gaze, like he wanted to say something. His eyes flicked quickly to the camera, then back to mine before

"Well, Alex Kingston is a very sexy woman, I won't deny it. But I dont think I'm enough for her if I'm being honest. Plus, she was married. What about you Charlie?"

"My dad fancies Alex Kingston, but she's not really my type. I know, only joking. I wont lie, I quite fancy Aneurin Barnard who is playing Jamie. But, I fancy basically anyone." I said, smiling.

"Okay, next question. Charlie, what's your full name?" Mat said, acting like he was ignoring my answer. Had I hit a nerve?

"Okay, before I tell you I just want to say, my parents were a massive fan on indie rock, and I was born in 1990 so, just bear that in mind. Okay, it's Charlatan Andrea Howards. My mum didnt realise that Charlatan meant con man so it was always weird. But to be honest, I find it kind of ironic that I ended up an actress, because they are basically conmen?" I raised my hands in a ' I dont know' gesture. Matt looked at me, bemused. I avoided eye contact by looking at the script, then I noticed the scene we had been given was scene 7. I motioned to Matt that I was moving to the other side of the trailer and he nodded as he was in the middle of another one of his camera rants. This was it. I discover the plan. What if it wasnt what I wanted? Would I be disappointed even if Steven wasnt trying to set Matt and I up like everyone was suggesting? I opened to the page and began reading, tension in my gut making me temble slightly.

_The scene is dreary and musty. There is no light reaching Alex and the Doctor. Through the air, you can hear a slight rustle of clothing. It is almost as if the Doctor and Alex are doing they shouldnt be. The camera pans across bits of ship and rubble from the explosion in the hospitial. The camera follows the same path as before, expecting to see Alex and the Doctor in the same intimate situation as the previous scene. Instead the area is bare. The ward of the hospital is clear. The only sign of the Doctor's presense previously is the sonic screwdriver on the floor. So faint it could almost be missed by someone, there is a small trace of blood around the floor. There is a sound of footsteps. A door at the end of the ward bursts open and in walks Ianto Jones. He surveys the scene, his face pale. He should be dead so his walk is weak but he makes towards the sonic screwdriver and picks it up._

_Ianto: Jack must know about this._

_Jack: About what? _

_The camera pans to find Jack Harkness standing, watching Ianto. He doesn't look happy to see him._

_Jack: Ianto. Leave. _

_Ianto: Why Jack?_

_His voice is full of hurt and anger. He seems confused by Jack's anger. _

_Jack: Because it's not you. When the TARDIS crashed here, it cause the rift to open to maximum copacity, feeding time energy over Cardiff along with so many other things. You were in the vaults. They are part of the default system. When anything major happens to the rift, the excess energy is fed down there. Of course, we didnt know the affect it would have on the bodies down there until, well, until it was too late._

_Jack and Ianto share a look. _

_Ianto: What happens now?_

_Jack goes to answer before seeing the screwdriver. _

_Jack: What's that?_

_Ianto: I dont know. _

_Ianto hands it to Jack. _

_Jack: It's the sonic screwdriver. But is shouldnt be this colour. The orange lght it must mean something. _

_Jack presses the button and a hollogram appears. It's of Alex. She is bloody and only wearing her underwear, there is something wrong with her eyes. They are flashing orange. When she opens her mouth, she sings a simple haunting tune;_

_Alex: A dozen bodies came inside_

_ A dozen bodies due to die_

_ Millions of people with no trust_

_ Driven by hatred and lust_

_ What happens when a mighty race_

_ Cant see the plans hidden pace_

_ How many more must face the fight_

_ And find themselves lost inside_

_Jack: What the?_

_There is a load noise from behind them and they turn. The camera pans the ward to find The Doctor, blood around his evil smile, leaning against a door frame._

_Doctor: Did you miss me?_

__I slammed the script shut, thoroughly creeped out. I remembered what it was like watching a Doctor Who episode when something like this happened. It was worse knowing that I could easily find out if everyone wasnt being so awkward.

Matt walked over and looked at me.

"I've finished the video. Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Did you miss me?" He said, meaning to tease but it stirred up images of him covered in blood, the bad guy. It actually frightened me.


	5. Chapter 5

"So, this camera will make me look like a hollogram when we actually put it all together?" I said as I knelt and looked down the cameras view point. The set was rather impressive. It was a room, but there ad been piping and rubble added to make it seem rundown and scary. I was wrapped in a thick coat to keep myself as the only other thing I was clothed in was my undies. Matt was in the make up trailer getting covered in blood. Or so I thought.

"Boo!" The sudden whisper in my ear made me jump up. He was wearing his dorky square glasses he wore for reading. Underneath his face was splattered with dust, rubble and a large amount of blood. It was strange how he could look terrifing and beautiful at the same time. I caught my train of thought. Had I really just thought that? I had. And it was true. He was beautiful to me. His slightly lobsided smile and the glint of cheeky adorableness that acompanied it. THey had been teasing me for so long. But there was a different thing now.

This was like a switch had been flicked in my mind. I had been hovering over the midway point for too long, no one can stay unsure forever. I kind of loved Matt. I grinned to myself just at that thought. It was nice not being confused.

Another switch was the fact that I would be spending the whole day near enough naked infront of him. My stomach flipped. I shouldve lost weight. I should've chosen better underwear. I shouldve...

"Charls?" He said. I knew that my grin grew bigger. I couldnt help it, the way he said my name, it just made the world fade. I looked him in teh eyes, smiling for ear to ear.

"Yes." I said. Everything suddenly had meaning. He looked at me, obviously wondering why I was acting strange. I almost giggled. I didnt fully know why I had suddenly turned into a prat, but it was happening. I looked away to stop myself from laughing and accidently made eye contact with Mark, and then Steven. They were looking at Matt and I with utmost concentration. I began to think there might be something wrong when suddenly something happened.

I had one of those moments. Have you ever had that feeling where it feels like your actually just a character in a book or film and whatever you do wont affect you because its not real? I was in a dream liek state. I turned to Matt. I took his glasses and put them on, making him look confused. I placed my arms around his neck and brought my face closer to his.

"Charlie?" He said, his voice soft. I felt so much like my character now, drawn to the Doctor even though she's not sure if he likes her. I kissed his lips for the first time as me. There had always been clues that he had liked me. The first day, where he had said my talents were snogging. Well, all I was doing was putting my skills to the test, and to my surprise, they were recieved well.

Matt was nothing like the Doctor. There was no wriggling. He reacted instantly, pulling me as close as physically possible, making me feel amazing. It was like everything had gone into immense clarity. Steven and Mark were applauding from the side of the room.

"I told you." I heard Steven say to his wife, Sue.

"What's going on?" Russel said. He must've just walked in. I heard him gasp, only half paying attention for obvious reasons.

"It's the start of Matlie Smithwards!" John said, and I heard everyone laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

It had always been the obvious answer that Steven, Mark and Russell weren't showing Matt and me the whole script as they were on a mission to set us up. It turns out not. The script was still being sectioned off into tiny groups of small scenes. The story line had progressed slightly though. So far I had got that:

- The Doctor and Alex accidently, well so Alex thinks, crashed at Torchwood.

- The Torchwood team, consisting of Jack Harkness, Gwen, Rhys , Martha, Jamie and River, have detected some strange rift action

- Whilst investigating Cardiff City Hospital, the epicentre of the action, we get separated off into pairs by an explosion

- Gwen and Jack, River and Rhys and The Doctor and Alex are all put under different effects of the alien, a Hydrachange, which increases any instinctive emotions that were already there.

- Gwen and Jack are going to have a sexual encounter when Jamie and Martha come and save them, revealing there is something odd going on in the Hub's vaults.

- River and Rhys begin arguing. The Hydrachange feeds as much as it can, but there weren't enough emotions towards each other with River and Rhys.

- The Doctor and Alex begin to undress each other when the Hydrachange comes and steals Alex, knowing that this will spur The Doctor to save her especially as he is under a high percentage of the gas that will make his emotions towards Alex extremely strong.

That was the beginning of the first episode, with The Doctor vowing to get Alex back and Jack and the rest of the team going to see what was occurring in the vaults. We had completely finished filming that, apart from the opening sequence in the TARDIS between Alex and The Doctor where she asks him about his previous companions other than Sarah Jane and Martha. Today we were continuing with the second episode which was so far like this;

- Alex is held captive and refuses to give blood samples as the Hydrachange detects something wrong with her DNA. She is tortured and ends up screaming for the Doctor and revealing feelings towards him.

- The Hydrachange leaves to discover the Doctor. He morphs into the Doctors look alike after biting him. The hydra-Doctor then goes to interrogate Alex some more using his sexual techniques.

- Then we go to Jack discovering Ianto in the hospital and the Hydra-Doctor finds them with the creepy poem Alex.

That was all I had, mainly as I was filming the first two bullet points today.

Matt knocked on the door of the trailer and I appeared at the door so fast it made him jump. He laughed and so did I, trying to avoid giving away that I had been waiting for him to knock for half an hour. He leant forward and kissed my cheek.

"Come on then, miss" He said, offering a hand to me. I took it and walked with him by my side.

"You're Mr Bad today, are you not?" I asked him, skipping a little. He skipped a bit too.

"Why yes, I am. And you are being the poor innocent damsel in distress, no?" He asked.

"I am indeed. You know when we are acting it, just go for it. I am going to be. Steven said I could improvise a little bit." I said.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you about that. You don't mind if I get into it?" He said, sounding so deliciously professional it was hard not to swoon.

"Definitely go for it, it might make my acting look better. Otherwise, you'll be amazing and I'll be too busy trying to remember my lines, so you've got to scare them out of me." I said.

"You're one kinky gal." He said, putting on a very convincing Yorkshire accent. We reached the set and waited. It was an hour later before we were set up and ready to shoot. I was sat in my underwear, supposedly paralysed by the Hydrachange, waiting to act. The actor who was playing the Hydrachange was Simon Farnaby, wrapped up in a large amount of prosthetics, and he was getting instructions. Matt snuck over to the chair I was in and knelt beside me.

"You must be freezing." He pointed out. I nodded, trying to practise not using my limbs. "Don't worry, Simon's great."

"Okay, CAN I HAVE EVERYONE IN POSITIONS PLEASE" came the commanding voice of the director. Matt placed a swift kiss on my forehead and rushed over the make-up table to get finished up. "ACTION"

Simon walked out from the shadows. He looked away from me as he walked.

"Why is it, Miss Whitehall, you are so full of the emotions I need but you're too reserved to act on them?"

"Down fall of being British, I'm afraid." He pretended to laugh at my sarcastic remark, before narrowing his eyes at me. He made a swift movement and brought a knife to my neck. I didn't even flinch. My character was supposed to laugh in the face of death. Only mine though. He pressed, not hardly but it would look it.

I screamed. "Doctor!"

"Dead. Sorry."

"NO!"

"Yep. Soz. Why does it matter? No one cares for him. He's the loneliest thing in the universe. No one wants him."

"I do. I want him."

"He doesn't want you." I saw out of the corner of my eye Matt move from the make-up area towards his set. The sound guys knocked something for Simon to react at. He went to have a look, leaving me for a bit. It felt amazing getting a scene in one take. Matt was right, Simon was amazing. It felt real.

I heard people talking and I guessed they were retaking a scene. Matt had to have blood applied for the Hydra-Doctor scenes, meaning that he would have another 10 minutes in make-up before coming over to do the scene. People kept on coming over and checking on me to see if I was okay. I answered all their concerns with yes. Suzanne came over and reapplied a layer of make-up before we were able to film again. I couldn't see what they had done to Matt, so the surprise of his appearance would be real.

"ACTION" We were off.

I stared up at the ceiling, trying to look out of focus. Matt's hand slammed down on my knee. I shot up and looked at him. He looked awful; Blood everywhere and a greenish tint to his skin. Make-up had done an amazing job.

"Alex. Alex. Alex." He said, a harsh quality to his voice. I looked at his eyes.

"Doctor?" I said, putting insecurity into my voice.

"Yes." Matt sat on my knee. He was quite heavy but it was fine. He pushed my hair out of my face and kissed my cheek seductively.

"Doctor. It might be easier if you got me out of this thing instead of snogging my face, oh." I said, his had was on my waist. He nibbled at my neck. I tried not to think about how nice the feeling was and convey Alex's emotions. I would become her instead. "What is this?"

"We should do this more often, Alex. In the what's it called."

"The TARDIS?"

"Yes." He was kissing my neck, making me tilt my head back. I sighed. "When we arrived in the…"

"Torchwood Hub?"

"Yes." He was sucking on the edge of my lip between words. "We should've stayed in and done this in the what's it room.."

"Control room." I answered. I was being Alex, too wrapped up in her own amplified emotions to care about what information she was giving away. She was supposed to become un-paralysed about now and I straddled him. It was the second time in this shoot that I was so close to getting naked with Matt. I didn't mind about the fact that it was going on camera. I had it easy, Burn who had played Owen in the old series had basically gone the whole hog on screen and I had been in things before Doctor Who which had included nudity clauses. It was the person I was with that made all the difference. Matt was stripping down to his pants. We were being instructed what to do and I followed, adding my own little improvisations in as we went. Matt wrapped his arms around me, pulling me so close I could feel his stomach on mine. He had a 'modesty' patch on so he wasn't fully naked, and Alex wasn't supposed to fully strip. We had reached the moment I had been dreading since I read it. I was supposed to remove my bra; Always awkward when surrounded by cameras. But I did it. Matt kissed me so passionately that my knees would've buckled if I hadn't have been sitting.

"Where's the TARDIs key?"

"It's in Jack's coat." I gasped. Matt then pushed me off him. I fell to the ground, the noise was worse then the actual impact.

"Thank you, Miss Whitehall. We're going to get the key from the coat and then scare your little friends away from my nest." I stared up at him, acting scared.

"CUT!"


	7. Chapter 7

John, Matt and I were sat on the train heading towards London. The sun was fresh in the August sky and everything seemed so chilled that I found myself drifting off into a trance whilst admiring Matt. That was, until, I heard a very loud, very high pitched squeal from the seat next to me. John looked down as his iPhone gleefully.

"Well, isn't this just the cutest thing?" He said, gushing with happiness. I peered over to what he was looking at, but couldnt see properly until he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. He was on his Twitter and had been sent a fan made video. I smiled,

"Aw, that's lovely." I said.

"I bet you have some fan girls and boys on the internet. Have you got Twitter?" He asked. I nodded.

" CharlieHowardsUK. But I haven't been on it in a while. It was set up on my old phone and I have been too busy to set it up on this one." I said. I was very doubtful I had anybody paying attention to me. I wasn't as striking or as impressive as the other companions. And only a couple of episodes in? The fandom would be having their heartbroken by Matt's cheeky attraction to notice me.

"Well, we can easily se how much people are obviously adoring you. I can type your name in the search box. There's a new episode tonight so there's sure to be a lot of hype." John punched in my name. I couldn't help but look as the top tweets began to load.

"** TARDISfan890: Alex Whitehall and The Doctor are my new OTP! Lovin Chalie" **Was at the top with 100+ RT's

**" MolsBols42: Charlie Howards has sass #GoGirl"** was underneath. John pointed to that one, then turned and grinned at me. But I had began to see the tweets underneath.

**" BadwolfRosie: What even is this? Script's fine but Howards can't even act! #InterestLost" **

**" artieconanwhat: Nice one Moffat, choose a girl who's killed #DoctorWho for me! Have to come back when Charlie's gone" **

**" Pondfever: I want Amy back!" **

**" WhutsernameWay: The Doctor's married to River! Stop flirting with the Northern trash that is Charlie Howards" **I was shocked at the last one. I wasn't even from the North! I was from Derby! John had obviously read them too as he scrolled past quickly. Sure, there were tweets from people saying they liked me, but the majority seemed to hate me.

Matt looked up from his newspaper when I sniffed. I would not cry. I would NOT cry. He looked at my face and realised something was wrong.

"Hey, what's up?" He quickly came and sat next to me with his around my shoulder. His hand was on my hair, sroking it softly as I fought back tears.

"That Doctor Who fans hate me!" I choked, failing on keeping my voice emotionless. It wasn't the only thing I had failed at. Obviously, I had not managed to persuade the public to stick with me. They said I had 'sass' but that wasn't a sign they liked me, or even true. I was a massive Doctor Who fan myself and couldn't cope with the idea of being a hated companion. I turned my head into Matt's shoulder, not crying, but only by a fraction.

"They will come around. They don't hate you. They hate change and probably miss Karen. It happened to me. I had to replace David Tennant! The man who made Doctor Who a success again! A fangirls one true love! People thought I was just a kid! I bet that is you logged onto your Twitter account, you will find a mountain of messgaes about how amazing you are. I think you are amazing." He leant into my ear before whispering "You're my favourite companion ever." I looked up at him, turning bright red.

"Really? Even more than Sarah-Jane or Rose or River or even Amy?" I sniffed, sounding as unsexy as humanly possible.

"Yes, even more than all of them. You want to know why? You are the perfect British girl. You don't just jump onto the TARDIS, you think its a hoax. You are even more of a crazy scientist than the Doctor himself, which is exactly what he needs. You're the best of all the companions."

"And you wear some great clothes!" John addded.

"Sometimes the audience don't know what they want until it's spoon fed them." Matt said.

"But how do I make them like me?"

"Just be yourself." John and Matt said in unison.

They had so much honesty in their eyes that it was impossible not to trust them. So, when the time came to do the questions in the interview room, I was calm, collected and confident. There was no reason for these people to judge me on a character that someone else had come up with. Now was the time to sell myself. Charlie Howards, not Alex Whitehall.

I took my seat, next to Matt, in front of the journalist. They all raised their to ask questins and my manager chose one. A lean man carrying a camera began to speak.

"Charlie, how long are you planning to stay on Doctor Who and what would you like to do in the future?"

I thought for a minute before answering.

"I'll stay as long as people want me. I haven't had any offers at the moment, but I would really like to branch out into alternative comedy. And, of course, work with Matt again. Or maybe stick with a perminant role on Torchwood instead of Doctor Who?"

Matt's manager then picked a question for him, but the panic from earlier had set into my gut. Nobody really new how close Matt and I were and probably wouldn't until the DVD's of the series was released with all the behind the scenes banter on. What if the journalists thought I was being possessive or obsessive? My knee began shaking purely out of nerves and I began to feel faint. Matt must've felt something was wrong because he held my hand tenderly under the desk as he listened to the question he was being asked.

"Mr. Smith, you have been romantically linked to Billie Piper, Daisy Lowe and Karen Gillan over the past few years, are you still single or are any of the rumours true?" I accidently squeezed Matt's hand out of shock, fear and anticipation. Did we count as a relationship? He squeezed my hand back.

"Well, I am in the early stages of a relationship, not with any of those you mentioned though. We are still sorting things out, but it looks promising." He grinned and I felt my insides melt. I probably went bright red because the cameras started flashing and people were scribbling down extra notes. I felt my confidence come back again and the rest of the interview went smoothly with Matt's reassurance and support.

At the end of the day, Matt and I were snuggled up together on the train back to Cardiff. Matt was reading his new part of the script as I set up my Twitter account on my new phone. As soon as I clicked 'sign in', my phone was buzzing with notifications. I clicked on interactions, expecting some awful messgaes, but what I got was;

**" PondlifeGal: CharlieHowardsUK was laughing and crying along with you! You're my new idol"**

**" StarGirl97: Shouldn't be crushing on CharlieHowardsUK as much as I am!"**

"** JohnlockSmith: Matt Smith and CharlieHowardsUK make a super cute couple"**

**" GallaghrDW: MarkGattis CharlieHowardsUK BBCDoctorWho WOW! Omg can NOT wait for next week! #BringIt"**

Matt read a few and smiled.

"Told you so." He said smugly. I gently smacked him before kissing his cheek and settling down to reply to the kind messages from my new fans.


	8. Chapter 8

It was one of those days on set where we needed to do absolutely nothing. So, of course, we were sitting in Matt's trailer. Normally, I would've been a bit more sociable, but I needed to catch up on my emails. I went on Google, aiming to type my name into the 'sign in' box on Gmail, but typing it in the search box instead.

Up came a wide range of results. Pictures of Alex Whitehall throughout the series, Matt was up there a couple of times. Then I noticed I had a wikipedia, so I clicked and had a look.

"Full Name: Charlatan Andrea Howards.

Born: 24 November 1990

Occupation: Actress" Above this was a large picture of me on the set of Doctor Who. I was wearing Alex's costume of a plaid skirt and red jumper with my hair pulled back in a head band, curls left to flop over. I liked the picture, so I didn't mind it too much. I was interested to see about the biography.

"Charlatan, or Charlie, Howards was born in Sheffield. She was raised there with her mother, Sarah; father, Jack; brother, Jarvis and sister, Sally until the age of 12 when the family moved to Manchester. Howards obtained all A's and A*'s in her GCSE and followed getting A*'s in her A Level's in Drama, English and Biology."

I stared at the screen in shock. How on Earth did whoever wrote this know about my grades? It was very odd.

"At the age of 17, Howards was persuaded into starting a professional drama class by her teacher. From there she stared in productions of Fame, A Midsummer's Night Dream, A Christmas Carol and Romeo And Juliet. Her talents were discovered when she stared in a production of An Inspector Calls, where she played Sheila Birling. From there, Howards was offered a role in the BBC TV show, Ashes To Ashes. This was her first screen role, which led on to minor parts in Outnumbered and the IT Crowd.

"Charlie Howards first came into the public eye when she was cast as the supporting female on the long running TV show, Doctor Who, playing Alex Whitehall, the Doctor's new assistant. Her performance was received well by critics and she has been popular with the fans. There has been rumours of Howards departure from the show in 2014, during the christmas special of the show.'

I looked at the last bit, confused. I had never said anything of the sort. Who ever started these 'rumours' were lying. My eyes scanned down to the 'personal life' section.

"Howards is an avid musician, and has reported that her favourite bands are Biffy Clyro and The Beatles.

She has been romantically linked with Dougie Poynter of McFly, after Poynter posted a link to her performance on Doctor Who on Twitter with the comment 'look at my girl'. There were also rumours of a brief relationship with previous Doctor Who companion, Arthur Darvill after some shots of Darvill were taken with a girl who looked like Howards.

Charlie lives in Manchester with her cat, Barnacle."

I looked at the relationship bit with utter bemusement. Who had even written this article? I had never met Dougie Poynter and had been completely unaware of this tweet about me until now. The Arthur Darvill bit was a load of rubbish too! I had only met Arthur once when he visited Matt on set of Doctor Who, but we hadn't really spoke.

I clicked back onto Google again when a url caught my eye.

"Oh no." I sighed.

"What?" Matt said, poking his head up from the fridge were he had been rummaging for food.

"They've made a Tumblr about me." I said, mournfully. Matt laughed, before re-entering the fridge like it was Narnia.

I couldn't help myself. I clicked the link, which was .com.

The suspense was killing me as the page loaded up.

There were GIF's of me smiling at Matt from a particularly sweet bit of the series. And one of me breaking down into tears, which I had the feeling was now a reaction GIF. There was the picture that had been released when I was announced as the next companion, me looking sullen at the camera in black and white. I spotted some from my first day of filming all those months ago. There were theories about my character, as the reason she was picked to travel in the TARDIS was still unknown. I liked the one about Alex being the Master's daughter who will help the Master be forgiven for his actions, even though I didn't think it was correct. I must've clicked something, because suddenly I was in the slightly scarier side of tumblr. There was a clip from Ashes To Ashes when I had played a golddigger character who murdered her husbands. I was in my underwear and clambering on someone. The next image was Matt in a previous film, kissing a womans neck. I didn't have to look through the rest of the GIFset to know that who ever made it was going to like Torchwood christmas special this year. I didn't really want to see any more so I went back onto Gmail and began replying to my family.

"Hey lala,

So you finally get to work on something massive and it just so happens to be your favourite show? Lucky bitch! You'll have to let me come and visit the set. I know what you're going to say, it's super top secret. WHO CARES! I'm your sister. Let me visit!

Anyway, found any sexeh men? I know you like the nerd type, so you should be swimming in your kinda guys! I watched the episode that was on the other night and the guy who played Sarah-Jane's son is a bit of alright. I know, I know. You go for the older man, but still! Oh, and the Doctor guy. Yeah. 10/10 would. Mind you, I bet you're already working on that one.

Okay, got to go. I'm babysitting Gemma for Jarvis and Mads later and you know what they're like with the organic produce!

See you later, lil sis!

Sals xoxoxoxoxoxox"

It was so typical of my sister to know me that well. I had laughed at the older guy comment, more of the fact that it was true than anything else. I really missed her, and I told her a million times in the reply. I also mentioned that I had got myself a snog, but didn't say who from. I ended it with 'give my love to Tone and keep your eye out for a shoutout on TV ;), Love you sissikins, Charlalalala xoxoxo'. She'd probably forget to tell her boyfriend that I sent my love, but that was life.

I clicked on the attachment she had sent and a picture came up. Sally and Tony were sitting on the wall outside my favourite chipshop back home. Sally's auburn hair was dyed green towards the bottom, making her pale skin even paler. Her blue eyes were crossed and she had a chip poking out of her mouth, but she still managed to have that tomboyish beauty about her. Tone was raising a can of Fosters in one hand and a kebab in the other like a typical Australian. His brown eyes were covered by shades and his blonde hair was blowing in the wind. I saved the picture to my laptop and went to open the next email.

"Charlie!

Hey kiddo! How are things down your end? Their great up here. Mads and Gemma want me to say that they are missin you lots and cant wait to see you soon. Gemmas sending you a postcard so keep a look out for that. Thanks for her birthday present. What could a 6 year old want more than a ticket to meet the Blue Peter guys? That was awesome.

Ive bin watchin the Doctor Who seires none stop and telling every one that your my sister! I am one proud big bro! Theyve named a school project after you at the school and Gemmas judgin! Of course she's probably goin to pick her mates but its the thought that counts.

When do you recken we can come up and see you? We were plannin to take the van to Tredegar house which is near Cardiff way if you want to meet up?

Hope to see you soon

Jay x"

My brother's grammar had not improved since I came to Wales, which was a shame, considering I bought him a book to help him sought it not long ago. He too had included an attachment and I clicked it. My niece, Gemma, was sitting amongst a pile of presents. Her blonde ponytail was falling out and her she was wearing Mr Men pyjamas, which told me she had just got out of bed. Matt has came over to watch the video with me. I saw my brothers hand go in front of the lens and heard him say "Gem, open that one. It's from aunty Charlie!" Gemma picked up the present, opening the bulky bit first, like any child would. "She's got me some gold chocolate coins and a teddy!" Gemma said, holding them up to the camera. "Open the envelope." Mads, Jarvis's wife, said. Gemma ripped open the envelope and opened the card. Out fell the tickets to the Blue Peter Studio Tour. She picked them up and studied them, clearly not reading the writing before passing them to her mum. "Sweetie, do you know what they are?" Said Jay. Gemma shook her head. "They're tickets to see Blue Peter!" Mads said. The video ended on Gemma's face, full of shocked delight.

Matt giggled into my shoulder.

"She's adorable." He said. I nodded. He set about making a cup of tea whilst I replied to Jarvis, promising to meet up with him on Cardiff Bay when they come and visit. I attached a picture of the Bay that Matt had taken of me smiling and waving in front of the Millenium Centre.

I had two more unread emails; one from Mum and Dad and one from Louise, my old best friend. I opened mum and dads first.

"Hey Tink,

Your mother and I are just writing to let you know that we miss you lots and lots. Jay, Mads, Sal, Tone and Gemma are missing you too but I think they are sending their own letters.

We were watching the episodes of the last series and thought you were stunning and everyone back home are very proud of you, but no one more than us. My favourite bit is seeing your name in the opening sequence. I have never been more proud of you.

We will be sending you a care package, something that your aunt Wallace told us about, later in the month with all your favourite things from back home. I'm not sure about the delivery times, so let us know.

Your mother wants to know if you have found yourself a fella out there. You know how I feel about the Welsh, but I don't mind you going out with a Taffy if you like him. Remember when you had posters of Matt Smith around your wall? Well, look at you now! There has been a lot of stuff in the rag about you being an inspiration to girls. Your mother's making a scrap book of the articles we can find about you.

Hope to see you soon, poppit

Dad"

"What's your dad got against Welsh people?" Matt said. I thanked who ever was listening that he hadn't focused on the poster bit.

"He has a track record of loosing things to Welsh people; cars, jobs and money. It's a bit odd, but so is the rest of the family." I replied. Matt laughed and patted my shoulder before leaning in a kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. My hands made their way up and knotted in his hair, which was messy. He bit my lip gently and I giggled slightly. He pulled back and looked at me smirking, making me blush heavily.

"You should tell your mum about us. Who can lie successfully to their parents?" He said. That made me so happy. If we were at parent telling stage, something was going right.


	9. Chapter 9

"CUT!"

That was a wrap on the second episode, which ended with the world about to blow, of course. There was a definite air of relief around the cast and crew. Freema strolled up to me, a smile playing on her lips.

"You and Matt just make me happy for some reason." She said, sounding a little dreamy. I grinned too. I was feeling the exact same way. His childish demeanour would've stopped anyone else thinking smutty thoughts about him, but it didn't stop me. Not that we had anytime to for fill them. Alex Kingston skipped over and joined Freema and I as we strolled towards the lunch van. I grabbed a box of fish and chips and a can of dandelion and burdock before joining the other two who were sitting on a wall.

"Charlie, can I ask you something?" Alex asked, tentatively.

"Sure." I said, not very ladylike though as my mouth was full of chips.

"If Matt left Doctor Who, would you stay?"

I hadn't been expecting that. I thought about it. Would I?

"Yes." I said. It wasn't about anything that happened off camera, it was about the story. "I'll stay for as long as Moffat has stories to write about my character."

Freema was looking at Alex strangely. My heart suddenly sank. Had they been told that Matt was leaving and didn't know how to tell me. They continued to look at each other, something obviously being silently communicated. I coughed slightly. I didn't like the way this was going. The gap in conversation dragged on, becoming more awkwardly unbreakable with every second.

"Hey, can I sit with you guys?" A voice suddenly appeared.

"Sure," I said before turning and meeting the gaze of the least-known member of Torchwood, Jamie, or Aneurin Barnard. The cute welsh lad was a little younger than me, with intense brown eyes and curly dark hair that fell gently across his forehead. I smiled at him and pulled out a chair. He sat down gratefully, the tray of food he was carrying barely squeezing on the already cramped table.

"You alright?" He asked, rubbing his hands together before opening his bacon sandwich.

"Yeah. Well. Actually, yep. I'm fine." I said, struggling slightly. Did Aneurin know anything?

"Well, that's good." He said, taking a bite into his sandwich. There was still 3 spaces left at the table and Eve and Kai claimed two of them.

"You lot all good then?" Kai said. He was a kind guy and I really got on with him. Eve was lovely too. Torchwood had become like a family on the set. A general conversation started amongst Eve, Freema and Kai and I joined in where suited.

"Yeah, but there's got to be some overwhelming plot twist in the special somewhere, other than the obvious the-Doctor-is-an-evil-soul-possessing-alien thing that was going on through episode two."

"I know, this is Moffat with the pen. How come nobody has died?" I asked.

"Good point. Maybe Mark has had something to say. It is a christmas episode anyway." Kai agreed

"That's never stopped him before."

"You want to know what I think?" Aneurin said, leaning forward. "River. I'm a fan of Doctor Who, and I know there's this whole ongoing story line with her and the Doctor. Well, they're divorced. And in a the series that Charlie has just filmed, she's a guiding spirit through the series, leading them to their Christmas episode from what I can gather. Well, our Christmas episode actually airs on the 22nd, 23rd and 24th, meaning it's set before the Doctor Who special. What if River is needed for their episode. Moffat's writing the christmas episode now, has he asked you anything about the casting, Alex?" He asked her. Alex looked like she was thinking it over before saying,

"I think there was something mentioned, but he's been talking things over with Matt a lot at the moment." She said, carefully.

My breathing was shallow and I began to panic. I couldn't hold the show without Matt, I needed him. He was the main and only key character, I was the new girl. Why would he not ask me first? Then I thought about it. It was his decision, he had been on the show for 3 1/2 years already, 4 by Christmas, he could leave whenever he needed to. It was only a vague idea anyway, Moffat might be talking to him about anything! Maybe even another project he was working on. The next series of Sherlock wasn't finished filming yet and Matt might've been offered a role in that?

"Do you think if River left, you'd get someone to replace her on Torchwood?" I asked, following a new train of thought.

"Well, we have the American branch since Miracle Day, so they might join us. But Russell still likes to keep it a mainly British thing." Eve answered. I nodded and continued to munch at the dinner as the cast of Miracle Day began talking about memories from the set.

"Hey, Charlie, did you know that Steven, Mark and Russell are thinking of giving you the whole of the next script instead of little chunks?" Freema said.

"Really?" I asked, excited. I was really keen to know what happened to my character after the Hydra-Change gets Torchwood to come and save her.

"Yeah, they say there needs to be some stuff you need to put across throughout the episode and it will be easier for you to read the whole script. I got mine today when I was on the break, so yours might be waiting for you in the trailer. It's amazing." she said. I instantly believed her. The whole of the Torchwood Christmas Serial had been so immense. The story line, characters and plottwist were a worthy brain child of the Doctor Who past and present writers.

"I'm going to have to go back to the trailer to find out, Freema, see you later." I stood up and disposed of my waste before heading towards the trailer park.

My trailer was next to Matt's and John's. The two of them were sitting on their steps, making conversations about John's dogs.

"A fine pair of puppies you have there." I heard Matt say as I approached.

"They have doggy style needs." John replied. One of them barked at Matt.

"Barrowman, I advise you learn how to keep your bitch under control."

"Honestly, Matthew, do you kiss your mother with that mouth!" I said, joining him on the steps.

"Why? Would you rather these dirty lips be directed at someone else?" He said, sexily. He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"I'll remember that for later." I said, then looked at John, who was grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "What you smiling at, Barrowman?"

"I just want to dunk the two of you in my coffee, you're just so damn sweet!" He said, letting his camp side rule. I sighed.

"Why does everyone keep on saying that?"

"Cause it's true!"

"Matt, tell him!" I said, turning to look at Matt. He just grinned and tapped my nose. I growled, half annoyed half humorous.

"Oh, Charls, this arrived for you." He said, dropping a large envelope on my lap. He then began speaking in a German accent. "Vell zen mis Hovards, vat ist in ze rather large und mysterious package?" I giggled.

"I vill discover now." I opened the package, as I thought, discovering the script. "Ooh! The last script! I love reading the new script!"

"Yeah, it's almost the best part." Matt and John agreed.

"I can't wait for the Doctor Who one." I said, hoping to provoke a reaction out of Matt.

"Um." He said, none committed. I looked at him, noticing for the first time that there was a edge of sadness to him. I lent over and kissed his cheek, realising how hard it would be for him to leave this role he loved.

"I love you." I said, noting that it was the first time I had said the words to him. He suddenly kissed me hard on the lips, pulling me onto his lap.

"Well... I'll just... Bye." I heard John say, but I was more focused on the hands straying from my back.

"Do you want to..." He said, when he surfaced for air. He motioned towards the trailer door and I nodded. I stood, brushed my skirt down as it had ridden up and followed Matt into the room. He began kissing me again, leading me towards the bedroom. He nibbled at my neck and began on my buttons.

"Charlie, this is a hard time for me, I'm so glad I have you here." He said, leaving it at that. We landed on the bed, finally for filling my dreams.


	10. Chapter 10

kissed him gently on his stubbly neck, drawing faster breath which made my head light from his moving chest. I pulled on his hair, chasing his jawline with soft pecks until our lips met again. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as his fingers roamed under my t-shirt. We shifted on the bed, him pulling at my hips until I was straddling him. He sat up to deepen the kiss and I hooked my fingers under the hem of his shirt. I felt his tongue dart and part my lips, pushing into my mouth and inspiring me to retaliate. There was a slight fumble with the hooks on my bra, mainly because he was attempting to perform the task with one hand whilst the other slid down the back of my jeans.

The outcome was unimportant, as there were voices coming through the trailer walls. I sat up, pushing Matt's wandering hands off, composing myself. He sat up, sighing, next to me. There was a knock. I walked across the small amount of space and opened the door.

"I told you that you were disturbing something." Was the first words that greeted me. I smiled at the speaker, John, and then looked at who the words had been directed; Steven Moffat and Mark Gattis.

"Hello Charlie, very sorry to be interrupting, erm, you and Matt but is it alright if we discuss something private with him" Mark asked, smiling in a way that was usually associated with bad news. I was preparing to answer when Matt got there first, shouting 'come in!' from behind me and John hooked his elbow through mine, snatching me away.

"Darling, would you like a cup of tea? Coffee? Cocoa? I know it's only 11, but would you like a drink drink?" He was opening his trailer door and starting towards the kitchen. Pulling out a mug for himself, he looked at me, expectant of an answer.

"Oh go on then, I'll have a cuppa." I said, admitting defeat and parking my bum on the sofa. He filled the kettle up and set it off boiling, then he turned and looked.

"Being in the know sucks, huh?" He said.

"I wouldn't know, HE hasn't really told me anything." I replied, trying to act cool about it, as though I wasn't bubbling with bitter annoyance. John tutted.

"Well, that's just not on. But, honey, you can kind of guess, can't you?" He looked strongly at me. I did know. Recently, the smiles and genial attitudes that were so Matt had stopped when the camera has finished rolling. "I've seen it before. David, as in Tennant, was like this too. It's a weird thing they go through. Dave was like this when we were filming the last episodes of series 4 together. Sometimes it was like everything was fine and then, it changed. It's the role, it eventually gets to you."

"But, we've just started this relationship properly. Why is he leaving me on my own, having to carry the weight of the show when people are going to be missing him so much, no one really care about me, it's him!" I said, trying to not sound too upset, but not living up to my career as an actor. John sat down next to me.

"You're an idiot if you believe that to be true. Billie Piper did it, when Chris left. It really helps the fans if they have someone constant to see them through the regeneration. In affect, you're going to be there holding their hands. I'm not saying it won't be hard, but I'll see if Moff will let me come back for an episode in the next series, so you won't be on your own."

"Would you? Oh thank you. I'm really scared I might not like the new guy, or he won't like me." I said, voicing the true worry that had been plaguing me. John smiled.

"Don't be silly. Christopher Eccleston, lovely guy. Replaced by David Tennant, amazing man. Replaced by Matt Smith, charming bloke. You see what I'm trying to say? The won't hire just anybody. They have to be special. They have to be out of this world." I hugged him then for saying that, cause I knew it was true. "And, Matt doesn't want to loose the chance of any future roll because they can't see him as anyone else but The Doctor..."

I sighed.

"I know. Why did I have to find someone I actually liked on a program that never stays still."

"The only constant is change. And hey, I thought you liked me?" John said, earning a light slap. But he was right.

After we had drank our tea and talked for a little while about David Tennant, Billie Piper, Catherine Tate and all the other amazing people who had worked on the show and I had never met, John said it would okay for me to go back to Matt's trailer now.

I knocked on his door and heard footsteps move towards it before the glass of the window was replaced by Matt's face. He looked worn out, but I still ran into his arms and snogged him. He seemed relieved that I had and kissed me back.

"Do you want to go out?" He said.

"Yeah okay." We agreed to meet back in 5 minutes so we could go get changed. I rushed to my trailer, put on a denim skirt, cropped Radiohead shirt and my converse before grabbing my beret and going back to the steps of his trailer. Matt was wearing his Guns n Roses shirt with his skinny jeans and a beany and looked so adorable.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Cardiff Bay! A world of Doctor Who madness!" A mad said to his girlfriend loudly as we walked towards BBC Wales. It was true, the whole place had been used as a set at least once. The couple kissed and sat down on a bench together. I looked at Matt.

The Doctor Who exhibition was on the road in front of us and I smiled and pointed to the TARDIS near it.

"Oh look, there's our ride." I said, knowing the joke was stupid. Matt smiled half-heartedly and looked back towards the Millenium Centre and the Bay.

"Charls, can you remember when you were half way through Year 11 and you're really excited cause you're going to be competing against the rest of the world soon, but also you're scared shitless because you will no longer be the thing that school has made you into?" He said, and his voice was flaking with some emotion. I knew where this was going, but it still broke my heart hearing it. "Then you're suddenly in May and the exams are coming and it's the hard bit that you've been dreading but preparing for the whole time you were there. And after that, the first time the paper is placed in front of you, you know there is definitely no going back. You're going to be on the other side, looking around where you used to hang around with your best mates who are going to different colleges and getting jobs and you wish that you could've stopped time before everything became real?"

"Matt..." I tried to say, but I could feel the tears forming in my eyes like the ones blooming in his.

"Charlie. I've got to go now." He said, almost making it sound like it was my choice. I had made him leave.

"Why have you 'got to'?" I said, noticing the change in my tone.

"Because if I don't now, I'll get stuck here." He said, full of emotion.

"So? The people who watch the show love you, you're breaking thousands of hearts when they find out."

"Charlie, I want to have a career. I want to do movies and stuff."

"You want to run off to America?" I said, knowing that I was getting angry for no reason. Well, not no reason. Because I was upset and terrified of doing this job without him. He had been the only constant star that I had.

"I'm not running off Charlie." He said, almost breaking down. He covered his face, breathed deeply and then composed himself. He looked around and then down at me and smiled. "Do you want to go have a look inside the Doctor Who exhibition?"

"Okay." I said, trying to calm down too, but really I was fast approaching hysterical. Matt was what? My boyfriend now? And he hadn't even talked to me about leaving, not even suggested it once. It had been happy and smiles and kissing on set, there was nothing said by anyone until Alex accidentally let something slip.

Matt lead me towards the exhibition. It was a tuesday afternoon in the middle of May, so the amount of people inside was about 10% of it's usual capacity. But still Matt and I had to quickly scurry through to the counter.

"Hey, it's me." Matt said, smiling. "Can me and Charlie go through in-between the tours?"

The man at the desk nodded. "They're adding some props to the back rooms so people have to be guided through there as well. It should be quiet for you, Mr Smith." There was a short wait for the next tour to leave and get far enough round for us to slip in, but finally we entered the exhibition. At first there was a room, the contents of which were random props from the series since the comeback. Old Magpie TV sets, paintings and a whole range of other oddments. After a while an automated video of Matt came on.

"Hello? Hello! Oh. I seem to have got stuck again! The pandorica two, clever old aliens..." The man himself stood next to me as the video played. I noticed how much he had changed since it had been on, he seemed to have matured immensely into a gorgeous, kind man.

"Stop staring at me." He said.

"How can I? You're every where." I said, only half joking.

"Look, I know you're pissed but..."

"Shush." I said and pointed to the video, pretending to be listening to it.

After it had finished we moved onto the next room. The original console Matt had. It was amazing. I twiddled a few dials before looking up and catching Matt's eye. We recited some lines from the series we had finished.

"Yes, but Doctor, surely even Timelords have girlfriends."

"Of course I have girlfriends, you're my girlfriend."

"I'm your what?"

"You're my girlfriend."

"I don't think so mate."

"But you're female and you travel through time"

"Doesn't mean we have any serious relationship... Stuff going on."

"What?" He said. I giggled, because when we had filmed this scene way back in September, I had never really considered a real relationship with Matt. Now look.

We moved on then, to the Daleks. There was a recorded message from Davros and Matt before we were hurried along so not to be caught up with the next guided tour. Matt and I moved into the next room to be greated by darkness. Lights flashed and flickered around and through the fake plastic trees and dry ice, there were Weeping Angels. Genuinely suprised, I grabbed onto Matt's arm. He pulled me close into a hug and laughed slightly. For an ironic moment, everything was fine as we stood in the dark foggy room. Then the moment passed. Next was the Pandorica chamber, were a 3D movie was meant to be shown, but as we had no tour guide, we had no glasses, but I guess that didnt matter as I had the man himself next to me. The doors finally swung open and we entered what was meant to be the self guided area of the exhibiton. All eleven of the Doctors suits were arranged around the room along with other iconic props, such as sonic screwdrivers and TARDIS'. I walked up to David Tennant's famous brown suit and trenchcoat and looked. For a moment I realised that I was a part of this 50 year strong story, I was involved with the Doctor, every man who had wore each of these suits. I wondered if Matt was feeling it as well, because I heard him sigh.

Just around the corner was David Tennant's TARDIS console. I stared at it, the space where some of my favourite episodes had been filmed. There was a screen in the background playing his dying sequence. I choked on the tears as he strolled mourfully towards the console for the last time, twiddling a few dials and sighing before finally standing straight to the camera.

"I don't want to go..." I felt the first fat tear roll down my cheek as I turned to Matt, who was walking towards me. He seemed to understand what I was pleading with my eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

"It's true, I dont." He said.

"I know."

"No, you dont. Do you? Why are you so set on making this so much worse for me?" He said, sounding genuinely confused.

"Because I'm a manipulating bitch." I said, trying for a sarcastic defence.

"No, Charlie, you're not."

"Don't be so sure, I might be subliminally making you say that."

"You knew that being an actress meant so much change, so why did you choose to do this job when you obviously hate it?" He called after me as I jogged up the stairs towards the rest of the props. I heard him clatter up after me.

The next open area was teh companions clothing and other monsters and frankly, it was amazing. There was so much to look at, I didnt know where to start. Then I saw it.

"I'd like one of these for the trailer." I said, pointing so that Matt would come and have a look. It was the naked picture of him that a princess had be doing in the beginning of series 6. Matt walked over, curious, and then looked at me with annoyance after seeing it.

"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you, and all youre doing is running away."

"Oh, I'm running away am i?" I turned on him. "Matt, I just wanted us to work together as a couple for a bit longer. I just wanted some more details. I just wanted to be told sooner. It's horrible finding things like this out just before they happen. And you don't seem to like the fact that I'm upset, which is really annoying me. You know what, finish the tour on your own. I'm going to the studios." I said, before walking off and leaving him, totally out of steam.


	11. Chapter 11

"Cut!" There was a void of sound, when everyone breathed. Then everyone smiled. "Congratulations everyone! That's a golden wrap!" We had done it, saved Cardiff from an alien invasion as well as being attacked from resurrected Torchwood member, the Doctor had restored Alex from the Hydrachange. Relief was an understatement. There had been a mixture of serious moments, romantic moments and hilarious moments throughout the several months of filming. John, Freema and I had bonded so deeply throughout this time. And Matt and I? We were definitely not the same as before.

"We would like to thank Matthew, Charlie, John, Freema, Eve, Alex, Kai, Aneurin and all of the crew! Thank you Steven, Mark and Russ for the talent that is your writing." Said Aidrian, the director of the episode. "There is a two month gap before I see a few of you for the Doctor Who Christmas special, but still enjoy August and September before we reunite!" We were dismissed. Of course, there was an after party! We were in Wales after all! We walked down to the sound stage, which was now resembling a 70's disco, and all grabbed a drink. I chose a gin tonic from the table and joined Freema and Eve on the homemade dance floor.

"Charlie! Don't be a stranger!" Eve wailed, already head over heels in the summer party mood.

"I won't, pinky swear." I said, but the music had started; Uptown Girl loud enough to make your ears bleed. I can stand Billy Joel as much as the next person, but this was just a bit too much. Eve laughed as I rolled my eyes and mimed shooting myself. Freema laughed too, pointing past my head. I turned and saw John shimmying towards us. He grabbed my arm and span me under his arm.

"Charlie, my darling, there's something so... Intense about you of late."

"What can I say, it's the' I flicked by hair before ending "Torchwood effect." John seemed to like that, and creased up laughing. We danced together on the pratically empty improvised floor, doing the macarena to Elton John and attempting to gather everyone for a bit of Steps '5,6,7,8' which ended with Eve, John, Freema and I walking around like constipated cowboys. Like every disco, the music was complete cheese. Until the requests came piling in. First was the Time Warp, which drew a large crowd to the disco ball, then came She Loves You. Eventually, the couple dances were polling more popular. Drums started up and a familiar piece of music drowned the room.

"Two jumps in a week, I bet you think that's pretty clever, don't you boy?" Thom Yorke sang, high notes echoing dryly throughout. Matt walked away from the speakers, drawing the conclusion that he requested it, though it was pretty obvious as Radiohead was his favourite band. I grabbed the moment by the sleeves and snatched him before he could reach his solitary station he had been situated in all night.

"Dance with me." I yelled, he nodded and I pulled him towards the dance floor. The moment slowed to a sluggish near-stop. It was an hour squeezed into a second where memories were someone elses and you could start over.

"I love you." I said. The hands around my waist pulled me into Matt's warm chest. He kissed the top of my head, following up with my neck, and the tilting my chin to look me directly in the eye.

"I love you too." He said. I smirked. I stroked the close cut hair on the back of his neck and hugged him closer, his head in my neck. I hoped that the many units of alcohol I had consumed wouldn't wipe this memory from me tomorrow morning, because when I swayed there on that spot, with Matthew Smith's soft breath on my neck, I felt infinite.

The passion of the moment dragged me into his trailer that night, and the following night. Then we were separated. The time had come for us to depart on our lives away from set. I was meeting Jarvis, Mads and Gemma in Cardiff and riding home with them, where as Matt was flying to America.

My brother smiled widely at me as I skipped across, arms laidened with presents for Gemma. His slightly lazy eye was squinted up due to the surprisingly bright Welsh sun. He was dressed in his usual shabby chic way, Mads dressed as a female version of him. Gemma, like any child under 10 should be, was wearing a bright orange tutu, ladybird wings and a giraffe mask. I walked with them to Pizza Express, not wanting to think of the time that would elapse before the next time I would wake up with Matt's arm hooked around my body and a smile on his lips like he had been having a nice dream.


	12. Chapter 12

I adjusted the dress under the table, getting aggravated at the length and tendency to get hooked on the buckle of my heels. The pale aqua silk was extremely comfortable and fitted like a glove until I parked my arse in the allocated seat. Steven and Mark sat proudly at the head of the table, partners sitting in corresponding seats adjacent to them. Louise, who played my mother, was sitting with her husband opposite me. Her elegant skirt suit made her look royal and her copper hair was curled down to her waist. Matt sat next to her.

The twin months that I had been away from him had altered his appearance drastically. His iconic quiff was gone, now his hair was closed cropped and military style. He was a lot more tanned. Also, the muscles that had once been lean and skinny were now defined and trained. It made him, in a way, look like a stranger. There was still a cheeky glint in his eye and his mannerisms were unchanged, but I still felt completely unaware of how to act. His +1 seat was filled by Karen Gillan, who was attending as an old friend. It was fantastic meeting her, she was so kind and funny. She was wearing something a lot more casual than I was, but still managed to look ten times more fabulous in her peter pan collar brown dress accompanied with beige chelsea boots. Her ginger hair, so perfectly styled, was shorter than on screen. She smiled at me from across the table and I grinned back, trying to not act start struck. Which was hard, considering where we were.

The Cambridge Media Arts Awards were jammed with familiar faces, from awards going to the soaps to Jessica Hynes and Simon Pegg, collecting a commemorative award for Spaced. There were a few musicians as well, such as Justin Youngs from the Vaccines and Jake Bugg. I picked out some indie comedy regulars such as Richard Ayoade and Julian Barratt. It was an overwhelming selection of people gathered under one roof.

To the table to the right of us was the cast of Broadchurch and Chris Chinball was having a conversation with Moffat. I saw Olivia Coleman and then David Tennant. He was wearing a black suit with a bowtie and as I looked to his feet I noticed he was wearing matching black converse. I was in a form of shock. No fan of Doctor Who can say that they haven't found David Tennant attractive to some degree. Louise caught me staring and gave me a quick boot under the table. My eyes panned to the left and saw Miranda Hart and her gang obviously up for a comedy award. I caught eyes with her accidentally and smiled, she smiled back, waving a little hello. A few minutes later, a tweet came through to my phone: " mermhart: can't believe we're sat so close to the Who table! I just waved at the Doc's bud CharlieHowardsUK! Amazing! #CMAA2013 #starstruck". I laughed to myself and replied: " CharlieHowardsUK: mermhart I was starstruck to see YOU! Probably caught me at the moment of monging awe! Good luck! #CMAA2013". I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked to see Karen had poked me and was pointing me to look at Matt.

"We're in the next lot." He said, leaning forward across the table. Steven Fry, who was presenting, walked on the large stage to large amounts of applause.

"And now for the best science-fiction show. Here in England, we honour science-fiction and fantasy and hold it close to our hearts. We asked the public to vote between Being Human, Doctor Who and Merlin. The prize this year goes to..." He began to open the card. Everyone on our table clasped hands with one another for luck. "DOCTOR WHO!"

The iconic theme song began to play. Moffat motioned for Matt and I to follow him on stage. I grabbed Matt's hand out of nerves and followed Moff, focusing on not tripping over my dress or shoes. He held my hand tightly and pulled me close into a hug. I was already struggling to hold back my smiles and he made it impossible. We reached the stage and Matt took the microphone first.

"Thank you Britain! You beauties! I would like to congratulate first Being Human's cast and crew and those lot at Merlin for being extraordinary competition! It's truly amazing to be associated with people like you! This award means so much especially this year, 2013, 50 years since Doctor Who began!" He waved in thanks and then moved aside for Moffat.

"50 years, has it really been that long? The truth is, yes. I feel like I've been working here 50 years, and its only been 5! I would like to thank..." and he began reeling off the members of the cast and crew. Matt wrapped his arm around my back. He whispered in my ear.

"I need to talk to you." I nodded and we walked back off the stage, Steve holding his award, back to the table. We sat down for about 10 minutes when Matt declared he needed the toilet. A few minutes after I followed. He was waiting in the finely furnished hall.

"Charlie, I'm sorry we haven't been able to meet up."

"It's fine." I said, only half meaning it.

"Can I ask you something?" He said.

He was looked so deeply at my eyes I agreed. "Are we officially a couple?"

I thought for a second.

"If you want to be, than of course."

He looked at the floor, smiling to himself, and for the first time in ages he looked like the old Matt, childish and cheeky. He looked up again.

"Come here?" He said, though it sounded more like a command. I ran and kissed him. I had missed him. I ran my fingers over his new muscles and his new hair, enjoying the feel, and pressed closer to him. Finally he pulled back, obviously surprised by the intensity of my kiss.

"So you like the new hair then?"


End file.
